PART NINE
On violating all 12 MSF rules in one day
On Thu, 20 Jan 94 4:21 PM, Tom Johnson wrote:
To some of the new subscribers this may not make a lot of sense, but to the rest of you, I am continuing my stories of my European motorcycle trip. I figure today is a good day to do this as it gray out and a few good thoughts tend to make my day a little brighter.
After Dean learned to fly, I was left with little recourse other than to travel alone or to travel with the mad Canadian, Jon. This choice was something akin to being given a choice of either being shot or hanged. I chose to follow Jon around and see if the bad luck that overcame those around him would continue. This episode starts a week or so after the last and takes place in central to southern Italy. The reasons for my vagueness will soon become clear.
Even since the times of the Romans, the Italians have been able on occasion to build spectacular roads. Absolutely straight, wide and able to move cohorts of troops rapidly to and from areas of battle. It was on one such road in Italy that I almost managed to loose Jon and his Zundapp.
I had been following Jon for almost an hour. Perhaps I should say that I had been living in two-cycle smoke for an hour. When we had started out that morning, the day had been delightfully warm and unbelieveably clear. However, an hour of fumes had dimmed my view of the world and two stroke motorcycles considerably. There was no question in my mind but that I should take the lead. After all, how could 250cc(?) hope to compete with the mightly 650cc Triumph.
I began my assault from approximately .5 klicks to the rear as this was the closest man or beast could stand to approach the Zundapp. I did notice though that the Italians are very friendly people as they all waved at Jon as they passed after forcing their way through the vales of blue smoke. Unfortunately, my first assault almost ended in disaster as I lost sight of Jon and the Zundapp at a critical point and had to brake hard to avoid running over them when they suddenly appeared out of the smoke screen. I truely believe that the differential in our speeds had been about 60 mph when he appeared about 12 feet in front of me. It was at this point that I broke the first of the MSF rules: If you lock the rear brake, keep it locked. I did and I didn't. That is, I locked the rear brake (blind terror can make you do that) and, not knowing better, I immediately released it. I am not entirely sure exactly what happened and perhaps one of the MSF instructors would enlighted us, but the bike took an immediate lean to one side.
It may have been that this lean saved both of us as I distinctly remember passing through the rear tire and wheel of the Zundapp and then slowing down as Jon disappeared back into his smoke screen.
Having failed the first assault, I dropped back to let the adrenaline levels drop and contemplate the meaning of life. It was obvious that blitzkreig has both advantages and disadvantages and I resolved that the second pass should be made with all due deliberation. As they say, when in Roma, do as the Romans. This assault would match the grandure of the Roman legions as phalanx upon phalanx of troops marched on the terrified enemy.
OK, what I really planned to do was work my way up slowly through the smoke so that he could see me coming. I also planned to gesture at him in the Italian manner so that he understood that I wanted to discuss something with him.
The problems with the Roman method of attack is that the enemy must be stationary, that the enemy must recognize that they are under attack, that the enemy recognize the overwhelming power the attacker represents and that the enemy must understand the meaning of fear. I am sure that Zundapp riders meet none of these qualifications or else they would not ride Zundapps. Perhaps the Romans sent embassaries to their enemys to explain these things before they attacked.
However, I could not communicate these things to Jon and he took my first assault and hand waving to mean that we were going too slow. As I increased speed, so did he and so did the volume of smoke. I felt much like the Coyote and the Roadrunner. I, as the Coyote, was infinitely more intelligent, better prepared and more deserving than the idiot out in front. Unfortunately, like the Coyote everything seemed to work in the favor of the Roadrunner and to the detriment of the Coyote. Another words, it is amazing how fast a Zundapp can go on the level.
I believe that it was about 80 mph when my vision, or at least what I could see through the smoke, began to blur. At first I attributed this to the well known vibration of 650 Triumph Twins, but then I noticed that while Jon and the Zundapp were blurred, the surrounding brown Italian hills were still, except for the smoke, sharp and clear. It took a moment for my mind to deduce that the effect was isolated to the rider and cycle ahead of me! To this day I have never seen another cycle and rider vibrate in this manner. The entire bike and rider seemed to offset about 1 inch in all directions at the same time. I think that the closest example that I can give would be the starship Enterprise as it approaches wrap 12 (design limit) and begins to shake apart.
The sheer wonder of the event was quickly overcome by the wonder that any rider would continue that far into what looked like a terminal situation without taking appropriate action. It was at this point that both the bike and the rider came hurdling back through the smoke at me!
I swear, I truly believe that the bike and rider came back through the smoke at me. I repeated my first manuver of the day and managed to miss the beast for a second time. I do believe that I, the Triumph and the smoke continued down the road for another .5 klick before we realized that the Zundapp was truly behind us.
When I and the Triumph managed to get back to the Zundapp (the smoke probably left in disgust), we politely asked Jon what he had been doing and why he had done it. His comment was that the engine had stopped running and had slowed him very quickly. I commented that I had noticed something like that and wondered if he had chanced to notice any vibration in the bike immediately before this. He said that "Yes, he had noticed a slight vibration; but that he had attributed it to either a tire out of balance or a vibration point in the engine that would disappear as soon as his speed picked up a little." I then commented on the friendly Italians and he agreed that they seemed most concerned about his welfare.
Had I been thinking, I would have offered to go for help at this point and then become lost in Europe. However, instead I offered to tow the Zundapp to the nearest town.
So ends hour two of the longest day. I will continue the detailing of this day for your consideration next week if there is any interest.
TJ
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