OK. It's quite long, so I'll tell it as quick as I can.
A bloke goes into a pub with an ostrich and a cat, and they sit down at the bar. The barman comes up. 'What'll you have?'. The bloke says 'A pint please,' ostrich says 'A pint please,' cat says 'A half, please, as long as I'm not paying'. Barman serves them, says '$3.75 please' Bloke reaches into pocket, pulls out handfull of change, drops it on the bar. Barman counts it, puts it in till. They finish their drinks. Barman comes up, says 'Hows it going, fellas?' Bloke says, 'Another pint, please', ostritch says 'Another pint, please', cat says 'Another half, please, as long as I'm not paying'. Barman serves them, bloke pulls out handfull of change, drops it on the bar. Barman counts it, puts in it till. This goes on for some time: 'Another pint please,' Another pint please', 'Another half please, as long as I'm not paying', bloke puts right money on bar.
Eventually the barman asks, 'How come you're sitting here with this ostrich and this cat, and you always have the right money?'
The bloke says, 'Well, sometime ago I met a leprechaun. I did him a favour, and he said I could have three wishes. I didn't want to be rich, because I thought I might not be able to handle it, so I asked if I could always have enough money on me for what I wanted'.
Barman says, 'I see. What about the ostritch and the cat?'
The bloke says, 'Well, I had a bit of trouble with my second wish. I said I wanted a bird with long legs and a tight pussy. So here we are'.
:laugh:
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